Hi, everyone. I just posted this on Zebra Sounds, but I thought you might like it too…

Every now and then Gretchen Rubin (Happiness Project) interviews someone famous, asking them what makes them happy, what they know and don’t know about happiness, what they’ve learned. There is one question she asks that I love because even just thinking about the answer makes me feel good (and it is, for me, always the best answer in the interviews). She asks, “What’s a simple activity that consistently makes you happier?”

I think the key word here is “simple.” As complicated as we humans are, as deeply as we feel our pain and sadness, as confused and uncertain as we can be, I am often amazed at how simple it is to lift our spirits. Maybe not permanently, but sharply, suddenly, sometimes when we least expect it. So here’s a j-list of five simple activities that consistently make me happier.

1. Making a list. It’s crazy how much I love my lists. And it’s not so much the list, but the act of writing it, the valiant attempt to organize my mind and my life. There’s something very sincere in it, kind of hopeful and positive and (fleetingly) empowering.
2. Connecting. Recently, feeling overwhelmed and defeated, I texted a friend. I just told her I was thinking about her, “how’s your day going?” She texted back that she was trying to find clothes to wear to date night with her husband. “Hot wife clothes, instead of mom clothes.” I laughed. I felt better instantly.
3. Going outside. I’m typing this post in my back yard. My dog is lying on my feet. Someone somewhere is mowing the lawn. Just over my back fence is a Hindu Temple, and they are chanting, ringing bells. Birds are singing, two butterflies just flew over the laptop. This is seriously happy stuff.
4. Exercise. It doesn’t have to be hard or complicated, sometimes I just have to move.
5. Kissing… Need I say more?

So that’s my short list. What is a “simple act” that consistently makes you happy? (Oh, and not to put any pressure on you or anything, but getting comments on my blog?  Big, big happy rush.)

I heard this morning on NPR about the AIG executive who wrote a letter to his CEO (and posted it on the NY Times) saying that he was quitting, and angry because he deserved the bonus that was suppose to come to him for having worked SO HARD. And this dawns on me as clear as clear can be: He & I are not only in vastly different economic classes, we’re in totally different worlds! Worlds! Planets apart!

So, how in this world — mine? his? your? their? worlds — could we ever come together? How do we - the haves/have nots/in-betweens — begin to envision & create a shared new world that works for all?

And, where to start?! In our own circles, among friends, in our churches, clubs, the organizations & businesses we lead in or are a part of?

I’ve been chewing on this long and hard. A dear friend talked about the total-surprise gift that her parents gave her the other day. A new Toyota Corola. Apparently, they had been tracking the condition of her car - a 12 year old Saturn - and noticed that its systems were getting shot, and that every time something went wrong, my friend had to fork out another $800 or so to get it fixed and that in the not-too-distant future, the car would be almost totally useless.

I was very moved by this story. It made me think of the question many of us have been wondering about of late, i.e., what is our role and responsibility as true members of our community today? I know quite well the one part of our responsibility is to be open and honest about what is going on and ask for help when it is needed. I do think we have been cultivating this skill, especially of late….and striving to do this with grace.

At the same time, what my friend’s parents taught me is that one muscle that must be exercised in communities is the tracking and offering muscle. Go on search and rescue missions within your community. Track what is going on among community members. Observe and really see, ask and really listen for what is going on — financially, physically, emotionally, spiritually — and then, reach down into what you have and make an offer. For no matter how much you may be needing help and support yourself, there is always something you can give that someone else needs.

My partner is so great at this. I only hope to follow his lead with as much heart as he does. Though he and I are low on financial resources and have nothing to offer, there are still all kinds of gifts we can and do offer — the time to help someone pack up their home; the skill at helping another build, fix or strengthen their website/blog/Facebook/Linked-in/Twitter; the network to connect or refer friends looking for work with friends looking for someone to do some work; thinking partnership for strategizing their business, getting out of debt, planning their lives; babysit when parents have to attend to things; time to lend that famous “listening ear” or “shoulder to cry on”.  Another dear friend Bonnie Kelley’s email signature says “I will stay awake with you.” I so love that!

And for those who do have some money, why wait till members come to you because they have nothing left and nowhere to go. Why wait to be “the last resort”? Oh, yeah…it’s that trust thing, and that co-dependency thing, and that what-about-me thing. As the same wise Bonnie says, “Oi! Enough already with that thing.”

One more thing. A friend, Bill Daul of NextNow, sent along this video clip by Keith Loutit. Amazing footage of the Westpac Rescue Helicopter Service during one of its exercises. It is a service that began in 1973, and has carried out more than 21,000 missions ranging from urgent patient transfers to dangerous search and rescue missions.

“Bathtub IV” — http://vimeo.com/3156959

Watching it sealed my above resolution (proclamation!) that the time is now and it is us who must create this search & rescue service for our communities. So I say, stay awake! Go out there, find out what’s really going on and make an offer.

The Westpac Rescue Helicopter Service depends entirely on the generous support of sponsors and the community to stay flying. Donations can be made here:
lifesaver.org.au/funding_challenge/donate.html

Since I turned 50 last year, I have been asking, watching, noting the many ways that our “ways of being” have changed and grown. Someday, I ought to write them down in greater thoroughness, but here are a few that have had their seeds planted in the long ago past, and have either taken more root, been repotted, grown new branches and leaves…

I celebrate these — and you, the culture-makers – by this simple blog list. (Tell me if you’ve noticed these, too…and what else are you noticing?)

1. We live in ever more transparent and current (in the present) ways.
2. Nothing is “sacred” (secret, untouchable) anymore and everything is sacred (of the heart & spirit).
3. Work & leisure are coming together.
4. Giving of one’s core talents and passions is the only way to truly live and be alive.
5. We elected the first black man to the highest office in the land.
6. We elected.
7. We — not others - are the authors of our own story.
8. Forwarding our story out loud with greater consciousness and purpose is our preoccupation.
9. The Unknown (or the Mystery) is the new territory for “scientific” exploration. (good luck! ;-D)
10. We are all One…and finally beginning to act like it.

Got more?

I was having dinner at my friends’ house last night. One of our friends was in town and we were visiting with her. Justin turned to our visitor friend and in his inimitable way, asked: “Elizabeth, so how are you doing…financially?” This led to a very wonderful, honest, and, yes, intimate sharing of our situations, what we feared about them, what our plans were, what could be done to help, who was showing up to help, and what is the role of friends or members of a community at this time.

Not so long ago, this question would never have been spoken. Money is a very private matter….for many, even more private than sex.  Now it is spoken in many more conversations, and the answers coming back are often not pretty and therefore, not easy to hear. The bubble around money - and all the forms and stories around it - has finally burst and I honestly feel a little bit of a relief. It feels as if we are doing a huge exhale together. A much needed exhale as we let go of trying to hold the secret of our situations, embarrassed or ashamed to admit ‘we are in trouble’, ‘our house is undergoing foreclosure’, ‘all my contracts have dried up’, ‘my bank refused to give us cash on our credit’, ‘we bit off more than we could chew’, ‘I may have to go bankrupt’. There is something about telling it like it is — without blame or shame or guilt – and listening from that same place that brings the gift of connectedness, compassion, and even a shared sense of collaboration in thinking through the ‘best thing to do’ and ‘how we can all help’.

And yet, we are still very much in the nascent stages of this conversation about money. A lot gets unraveled by this conversation starter….and that’s really scary and why many people don’t know how to have the conversation. My partner has been very open about his financial state when he is asked the “how are you?” question - even with his clients – and not in a needy or begging way at all, just pretty matter-of-fact and honest. This has been met with different reactions, mostly telling us of how young and clumsy and inadequate we still are about this topic. Most of the time, people do not know what to do with the information. They either switch the topic and pretend it was never raised, make a joke, or just plainly not say anything at all. The topic of money — especially in one’s personal life — has been a daunting, scary, embarrassing one to have in the open. When one speaks of having or making a lot, it has been seen as arrogant and boastful; or the person fears they will be asked for a donation or a loan. When one speaks of not having it, it has been looked down upon as a sign of not being self-sufficient, or careless; or the person fears they will be shied away from. And when one has “enough”…well, why talk about it at all?! None of the scenarios would invite the conversation on money, which, let’s face it, is one of the core threads that brings us together and breaks us apart….in damaging and enlivening ways.

But the times, they are a-changing. Our economic times have brought money front and center. It is the not-to-be-ignored-any-longer topic as its reach is vast and complete in all corners of our lives and across the world. The sooner we get adept at having the money conversation as much, as deep and as open as we need to, the sooner we can learn how to be a human community again…together.

Talk with me…

Teresa

“You start dying when you have nothing to live for.
You start living when you find something worth dying for.”

– Mark Batterson (author, Wild Goose Chase)

Whew! I’ve been absent for a stretch. I don’t know about you, but my life has been spinning at creative warp speed. It has been said that life is a banquet. Well, my plates are very full!

I have at times felt that my life is split. I feel pulled between the needs of my grandkids (one boy with autism, two with ADHD, and a 7 month old grand-daughter on the brink of crawling, all living in Los Angeles). Then there is my passion for developing my work and sustainability in a way that is congruent with who I am and in the service of women and making the world a better place. Of course other worldly demands are clamoring for my attention. I miss my friends in Port Townsend, WA and others scattered around the globe.Don’t forget my longing for stillness to connect and settle into my spiritual core to rejuvenate. Sound familiar?

What if  I took a deep breath and dared to tweak my vision to see this as a whole, rather than divergent parts? What if I shelved any resistance and opened my arms to what is, seeing it all as an invitation, rather than an inconvenience? I actually do pretty good. Practice makes imperfect perfect!

Happiness calls us. It is a constant, just like the sun, even when sometimes hidden by the clouds. It is not the circumstances that matter most.

To expand my happiness, this week I will practice opening my arms to it all that feeds my intuition rather than my logic. I seldom slide into feeling a slave to it all, although I can get a bit weary. I just wish each day had more hours. But really, what if … what if it were all as it is meant to be? What if these compartments of life are not cages? Who would I be if my energy did not fight what seems to be unfolding and instead expected miracles? What if the adventure is to opportunity to see the blessings in the cracks in the sidewalk and the calling to access all that we are?

I am most alive and joyful when I stretch in reply to an inkling, following an intuitive call into the unknown in a way that defies logic, but feels right.

I don’t see life as the pursuit of playing it safe. Some people really cling to their comfort zone. I have expanded my ability to live everywhere and travel life with a loose grip. That’s not to say that I don’t appreciate a chance to rest and retreat from time to time, even hide out, but I know not to get attached to the predictable. Passion and growth come from stepping into the unknown, listening within, welcoming the adventure, and trusting that all is well.

I love when synchronicities find me. I consider them miracles that I have magically attracted. They are a delightful delivery form of the next pieces of the puzzle.

A dear kindred friend and life-coach, Shannon Bruce, referred me to a wonderful book, Wild Goose Chase by Mark Batterson. I decided to download a sample chapter from the author’s website.

After being drawn into this tidbit with no time to spare, I felt soothed and relieved. I am OK. It’s all OK. My Renaissance spirit is OK. Life as it is is OK.

I suggest you run, don’t walk, to download your chapter of Wild Goose Chase, too. I love the way Mark Batterson writes. The description and story of a Wild Goose connected with me in a powerful way.

So, what used to feel like being pulled in too many directions now feels like an adventure (so many women I know are on). I feel reasured that I am most certainly on the road of conscious happiness, flying in formation and sharing the draft of wind with others who enjoy flight.

I read this quote yesterday in Martha Beck’s book, Steering by Starlight - Find your right life no matter what! (I finished the book yesterday, too, and if the title appeals to you, you might want to give it a try. I feel energized and much more sure-footed.)

Anyway, here is the quote:

No time is ever lost and nothing is ever finished. This moment - every moment - is a launching pad. Every moment breaks you open and begins a new life.

Above my desk, I have an inspiration board, where I hung this quote, along with pictures and notes and drawings and a YES WE CAN button, all of which reminds me to follow my passion and to have faith that every step I take on that path is right and true.

More and more these days, I sense people are tired. I am too. I stumbled upon this video at HuffPo a couple of days ago, and posted it on Zebra Sounds.  I thought the Offerings community could use a bit of laughter too.  It’s only four minutes. Take a break. Laugh. It’s good for the soul.

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